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Jan 21, 2020
How can I have a happy marriage and transform my spouse into a soul mate? (Part IV – Shared Experiences)
28/06/2016 2:50 pm UTC | By: Surinder Kaur

Do you feel that you are doing everything in your power to make your spouse happy and your marriage work, but there is no reciprocation?  After a couple of years, your enthusiasm has waned and you have stopped trying? Are you wondering where all your romantic dreams have vanished?  You were looking for a romantic soul mate and life seems endless chores, work and arguments? Don’t worry – what if I told you that there is a formula to success, and if you both work together you can be happy in 30-60 days?
The formula –
There are four pillars to a happy marriage:

  • Shared Experiences and being mindful
  • Financial Management
  • Effective management of chores and social engagements
  • Emotional happiness
  • Shared Experiences and being mindful: The greatest benefit of marriage is that you bear witness to each other’s lives. Do so mindfully, aware that you probably have only 50-60 years together and investing in this relationship will bring you the best returns possible.   In doing so, make it a mission to be part of each other’s journeys as much as possible. What does that mean in practical terms?  Most marriages work because you have the common goal of bringing up your kids and that consumes most of your energy. Understand that they will leave before you know it and kids cannot be the only thing you share.  Write down three things important to each of you in the following categories.

  • Growing spiritually: E.g. meditation (Isha yoga; Art of living), attending Vedanta classes, going to the temple.
    Physical well-being: E.g. hiking, 10K races, playing golf, dieting, yoga, going to the gym, playing games.
    Awareness and Enjoyment: E.g. Sci-fi, travel, cooking classes.

    Share at least two of the activities and spend time together, and not “doing your own thing”. Make a conscious effort to make one of the activities chosen by the wife and the other by the husband.  Be generous with each other. You would have found your soulmate before you even knew it.

  • Panelist: Akila Kumar

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